Wisdom

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”, Aristotle

Do you remember that person you learnt most from early on in your career? I was talking to Brett, an Anglican priest recently and he mentioned the priest-in-charge at his first parish when he was newly ordained. He describes himself as being a “brash twenty something” back then. The priest-in-charge, he says, had the wisdom to stand back and give him the space to make his own mistakes. In doing so, he gave him the freedom to do some really great and unexpected  things too. Thirty-one years on, he tells me, he often thinks of those times when he is training his own new recruits, drawing on the memories of that older priest and thinking “What would he do?”. His description of this early mentor reminded me of supporting my small children as they learnt to walk. It was hard, but I gave them space to totter on their own. Much of the time they landed on the floor with a bump and I had to dust them down and set them off again. I mean, I couldn’t hold onto them forever, could I? 

I’d still be holding them now. In the process they not only learnt to walk but they also had the freedom to do so many amazing other things too (well, maybe not that time when the eldest smeared Sudocrem into the carpet, but that’s another story). Of course, I’m still letting go of my children, even now. Certainly, as young adults they have no intention of me molly-coddling them or protecting them (which, believe me, I long to do) from the mistakes only they can learn from. So many of the people we coach at Indigo are either pushing away their over-protective boss or learning how to let go of the high-flyers in their own teams. In one direction they push and cajole for more delegation, new projects, greater responsibility, a chance to try out new ideas and in the other, they teeter with trepidation as they wonder whether they can trust a team member with more, new or stretching work and deliberate the risk if things don’t go right. There’s no easy way to learn that wisdom of Brett’s priest-in-charge. It comes with maturity and experience, that gradually acquired thick back-catalogue of lessons learnt, tested and recalibrated for each purpose as it arises. Self-awareness is pretty key though and that comes in moments of reflection and stock-taking. It comes with self-knowing and making sure you are refreshed and replenished, so that you can make good decisions. When spent with a coach to guide you, it’s in these moments, when you give yourself that much needed breathing space before deciding what next steps to take, that maturity accelerates.