Essence

I interviewed Sarah Thomson recently for a podcast on Emotional Intelligence.

Sarah is a psychotherapist, running her own practice and supervising and teaching psychotherapy at the Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Education (CCPE). Hers is a “transpersonal” approach to therapy, which she told me is about the “essence” of who we are as well the rational mind and flesh and blood.

Essence is a hard word to define.The Oxford English Dictionary on-line says it’s “The intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, which determines its character.”. That sounds to me like the quality within that gives us our sense of self and purpose. For Sarah it’s something akin to our spiritual being. Maybe that’s a phrase that jars uncomfortably with you, or maybe it resonates immediately. For Sarah it means the deep motivation that drives and sustains us.

I head for Google again for a quick search for the word “spiritual” and Wikipedia delivers an explanation for the root of the word “spirit”. Meaning “animating or vital principle in man and animals". it comes ultimately from the Latin word spiritus which means “soul, courage, vigour, breath”.

This maze of definitions and explanations echo Daniel Goleman and his work on emotional intelligence. He says emotional Intelligence is “The capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions in others and ourselves”. He’s very clear that the corner stone of what he calls EQ rather than IQ is self-awareness, knowing ourselves, our values, our motivations, and our sense of purpose. Doesn’t it take soul, courage, vigour, and breath to be good a leader? Especially as this New Year will continue to bring uncertainty, challenge and the need to find creative ways of working.

Last year, our client, Network Homes, ended on a high. In a pulse survey, 97% of staff said they felt well supported by their managers. We shared their delight at this incredible result at the end of a year that had been so difficult. They put wellbeing firmly at the top of their approach. I certainly know from working with many of their leaders that the best of them took a literal breath to restore their vigour and took stock before acting.

In talking to Sarah, I’m struck that If we want to explore and build self-awareness and increase our emotional intelligence, troublesome words and phrases like essence, deepest motivations and spiritual being are worth a second look. With both the glimmers of hope and the challenges that are ahead for 2021, she reinforces for me too, just how much time and effort we need to put into this self-awareness building and strengthening our emotional intelligence if we are to be courageous, resilient and strong.