Finding your Leadership Voice
Last year I was running a course for a Housing Association. I was deeply impressed by the commitment to his own development shown by one delegate who was acting up to the managers’ role in his team. The course ran for 4 modules. For two of these he attended on days that had been booked for holiday. On one he arrived full of cold, his voice so hoarse, he was barely able to speak. Aside from quizzing him about how his family felt about him coming in on his day off, I wanted to know what it was that meant he gave up his time, freedom and even risk his good health to be with us. Let’s call him Dave. He said,“Well, I’ve just got to do it. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. I’m not enjoying managing the team and I’m fed up with my relationship with my line manager. Even my wife says I can’t keep on like this or my health will be seriously affected. If this course helps me sort things out, then it’s worth it.”
Over the course of the four modules, I think we were all surprised at just how much he did manage to “sort things out”. From sitting quietly in the group, contributing little, feeling somewhat intimidated by the more experienced managers in the group, he began to experiment.I remember him reporting back the second time we met about conversation he had initiated with his line manager. Together, they has established a new way of working where the line manager listened more to Dave’s ideas, gave him his head to try them out, and helped him reflect on what happened as a result so that he could refine what he would do next. The outcome remained to be seen, but it seemed that something was shifting in their relationship. Dave was getting braver with a man he’d labelled “an ogre” and making requests about what he needed in order to be more effective.
On the third module he came with a story about how he had responded to the “barrack room lawyer”, the man in his team who had been making his life a misery. “It’s only a little thing, really. But it’s made a big difference to how I feel about being a manager and how the team are responding to me.” He’d listened to the man’s complaints, agreed that the new process he was complaining about was different and that, yes, he might find it tough at first. And then for the first time, he said, and here you have to hear in your mind’s ear his soft, informal tone and relaxed regional accent, “It’s not going to change back to how it was, mate. You have to get on with it. It’s exhausting you and me keep complaining about it. Just give it a go. You know you can do it.” The man shrugged, sighed and said “OK”.
By the final time we met, the rest of the group were asking “How would you handle it, Dave?” as they struggled with their own issues.
What I noticed was a man who was developing a sense of himself as a manager. He was finding his “leadership voice” for the first time, opening his mouth, having conversations, and creating a new identity, one which other people were responding to positively. What he noticed was that he was feeling happier and more in control. It was early days but the signs looked good.